i just saw a skinny kid walk quickly down my alley -- his hands in his pockets, his eyes cast downward.
i looked exactly like that kid in middle school.
i didn't like walking on busy streets. i felt naked and exposed.
i loved walking down alleys.
beautiful trees. barking dogs. no traffic. no passersby.
garbage to study. some animals you could actually pet.
i also loved cutting through buildings or businesses on my way home from middle school.
on any given afternoon, i would go through:
the oblate school of theology.
wolff's nursery.
the international office building on san pedro avenue.
the el montan motor lodge.
i would just act like i was supposed to be there. much like zelig.
when you can slowly work your way into any situation without arising any suspicion, you can avoid a lot of conflicts.
and i was way into that in middle school and pretty much every since then.
so usually, i can weather any professional setting in the music world. it's in the real world that i need the practice of just being honest, caring and open. rather than slipping into that skinny kid's head and slipping away.
but that was an impossible thing to fathom at 13.
the world was a horribly unclear place. which inspired wonder in some ways, but fear in most other ways.
and maybe at some point, you can let it all go and things become much more bearable.
it'd be hard to be 13 for much longer than a year.
so, as always, good luck out there.
joe
